“Serious journalism, read aloud. Even you can manage to pay attention for eight hours. Probably.”
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“You'll start double-checking who your neighbors really are. And your own browser history.”
“You'll start eyeing your own fridge magnets like they need a security system.”
“You'll start reading the fine print on everything. Well, listening to someone else read it.”
“You'll never again assume anyone is 'just a quiet neighbor.' Deadbolt count: rising.”
